A wonderful adjunct to a radio program I heard today on emotional intelligence. Part of the interview was with a poet who quoted a poem called The Emotions are Not Skilled Workers. Yes the emotions are blunt instruments and I am more and more a convert to buffering emotions in my role as a manager because of the disproportionate effect of negative emotions on team members.
This is great article from the Harvard Business Review on figuring out if you are weak emotional intelligence. I’ve had quite an evolution on my EI as a manager. I certainly was one to express frustration and impatience in the early days and when I realized that this didn’t help the situation I worked on moderating my responses. I also spent a fair bit of time examining how to be more empathetic and this work continues.
As a start, here is a list to help you assess if you aren’t high on emotional intelligence.
- You often feel like others don’t get the point and it makes you impatient and frustrated.
- You’re surprised when others are sensitive to your comments or jokes and you think they’re overreacting.
- You think being liked at work is overrated.
- You weigh in early with your assertions and defend them with rigor.
- You hold others to the same high expectations you hold for yourself.
- You find others are to blame for most of the issues on your team.
- You find it annoying when others expect you to know how they feel.