A good piece on how to consider re-wiring your brain from a need to be right (and win) at arguments and replace this feeling with the power of human connection.
The author lays out that in situations of high stress:
“We default to one of four responses: fight (keep arguing the point), flight (revert to, and hide behind, group consensus), freeze (disengage from the argument by shutting up) or appease (make nice with your adversary by simply agreeing with him). All are harmful because they prevent the honest and productive sharing of information and opinion. But… the fight response is by far the most damaging to work relationships. It is also, unfortunately, the most common.”
She goes on to lay out that the fight response is rewarded when we win with hormones such as adrenaline and we, as leaders, get addicted to being right so that we can have that adrenaline high again. For a more collaborative workplace where ideas are shared more freely, we should look to replace the adrenaline high with a high from oxytocin which is activated by human connection.