Love Seth Godin – in this short piece he surveys the reasons why we chew people out – we want them to stop doing something, never do something again or it makes us feel better.
As he rightfully concludes:
“Can we agree that the third reason is selfish and there are almost certainly better responses if your goal is one or two?”
In addition, it has been said over and over that negative interactions need to be replaced by up to five positive interactions to balance their negative effects.
Lastly, lots of good work on brain science in this book and others discuss what really happens when people are getting chewed out: They go into survival mode and lose the ability to hear what is being said and think and at any advanced level.
Agree wholeheartedly with Seth on this – we can do better.